Life lately
Hello beautiful people,
I hope you are all doing well.
Felt compelled to write a little bit tonight, so let's see where my fingers take us. As usual, I like to write intuitively and not over-edit or think it through too much. You probably noticed if you've read a few of my posts.
Anyway, lately I've been feeling lost. Which is funny, in an ironic way, because 10 years ago I was feeling the exact same way, around the exact same time. I remember coming back from my trip to Rome in May and suddenly being "hit" in the face by my reality and routine. It no longer felt right and I could no longer ignore it. I felt like I needed to start over. Once I admitted this to myself, many sleepless nights ensued. I was not only feeling lost, but feeling trapped. That feeling was even worse. I started getting so anxious that I slept several nights on my studio's floor, in between my kitchen area and my mezzanine bed. I was listening to Clams Casino a lot.
Eventually I gathered up the courage to quit my job, pack up my stuff, ask my mom for help and moved back with my parents, 800 kms away, temporarily. In the process, some crazy thing happened (you can read about it here). Kind of had to burn to ashes to eventually find myself again. Maybe you've been through something similar yourself?
Well, while my current situation is different on almost all fronts, I kind of feel the same. The past few years have been nothing short of intense, and I feel like I had to gradually shed layers of myself, of my identity, year after year. To the point where I truly don't know where I'm going now.
Guess that's part of the journey of being human. Although to be honest with you all, sometimes I feel very alien. Like nothing makes sense on this planet, and I'm craving to go home.
Until then...
"Caminante, no hay camino, se hace camino al andar"