Un unremarkable summer
Summer is almost over.
Once again, it flew by, and once again, I have not made the most out of it. Quite the opposite. I barely enjoyed the little snippets of joy that summer offers us: eating an ice-cream, drinking a cold beer, sunbathing, going to the beach or the pool, enjoying the long nights...
This year again, I spent it mostly inside, resting and/or hiding from the extreme heat. I went to the beach either one or two times... I can't even recall it properly. Barely saw any friends, barely ate out, barely did anything at all.
Such a stark contrast from the long & warm summers of my childhood.
They always were the best months of the year for me. That's when I would spend time with my extended family; when my cousins and I would play all day in any body of water available to us (pool, lake, river, beach...). Days I would spend outside, running, playing, riding my bike. What glorious days they were!
Obviously, I have not been a kid for a very long time; however, summer always remained my favorite season for several reasons.
For one, my mental health is usually much better when I can actually see the sun. It does not matter if it's really warm or not. The warm light from the sun is already healing. While I'm ready for fall, I'm dreading the progressive loss of light that'll come with it...
Then, even after I joined the workforce, it would always be a time when things would slow down for a bit... maybe not during the entire two months, but at least for one of them. Bless Europe's relationship with the summer holidays! August is usually very chill. I did notice that here this year. Almost no one in the streets, all around my neighborhood. I felt like the city belonged to me and my dog only, on many occasions.
Finally, I feel like it's a season where people (as a whole) give more value to what truly matters: community, family, rest, and all the little moments.
My last few summers have been bittersweet and quite lonely. I don't necessarily mind that much on a day-to-day basis, but once summer's over, I reflect and always feel like I missed out big time.
Maybe the culprit here is comparison. As we say, it's the thief of joy. I should stop having any expectations for what summers should be like, and perhaps then I will be able to fully enjoy them for what they are to me, any given year.
Hopefully you won't relate to my ramblings and have been able to enjoy this summer to the fullest. In any case, dear reader, I hope you're ok!
With love, Camille